The Month of October, where the days are dark and the nights are long, school becomes a drag and birthdays start to snowball. I would like to stress the last one because my wallet is weeping to death.
The second edition of the Month In Review, where I flashback to all the hip ‘n’ happenings over the past month.
In the month of October, I’ve heard the word ‘billions’ repeated….billions of times, confirmed that I’ll never dig myself a hole…metaphorically and literally in case I get stuck there for 60 days or so and Jaysus Chroist, I’ve been attending too many comedy shows.
Lets dig in…so to speak.
#1 My God It’s Cold
Looks exactly like me.
Last week’s home attire: shorts and a t-shirt. This week’s home attire: vest, t-shirt, jumper, shorts, trackies and 2 duvet covers smothering my body. I look like a deformed Jubba the Hut.
#2 The X Factor Gets Crapper & Crapper
- Chav Clobbering: London 2012
Two weeks ago, I decided to watch an episode of the Z Factor. My God I regretted pressing the number 3 on my remote control. Viva La Vida and One being sung on the show was enough to send me into an uber dimension of hysterical rage. The only positive thing I can think of is the adverts. Hats off to you Yeo Valley for producing this gem-of-an-ad.
Mind you, I do love it when chavs punch each other on the X Factor. It should be a sport.
#3 I’ve Been Attending Too Many Comedy Shows…
My jaw was aching after Howard's show.
The Impressions Show, FHM Comedy Stand Up Hero, Live At the Apollo, Russell Howard’s Good News (going to see another one this Tuesday and the next) and Robert Webb’s ‘Robert’s Web’ (clever). I’m either a luck b****** or a greedy one. I’ll make a blog post on how to get tickets to these shows so don’t fret. However, if any of you get Mock the Week tickets before I do, I will strangle you.
#4 Normal People Don’t Wake Up At 4AM…or 5AM…or 6AM
Oh noes, I woke up late.
Self explanatory. While I sleeping over in the University of Warwick (my friend’s university), I was reminded that I am a freak.
#5 ‘Bloketrapped Mountain’ – A Chilean Love Story
Wheey!
A big ‘wheey!’ to the freed Chilean miners. It was also the only time when rolling 24 hour news was acceptable (think of Roal Moat and Madeline McCan). Still, if they don’t make a movie out of this, I will be disappointed. The best concept I’ve heard is by Russell Howard: 33 blokes looking for romance. Like Blind Date except they’re literally blind…
#6 Being Facbook Raped Is Not Fun[ny]
NO. I AM NOT.
I don’t like to talk about it much….it’s very traumatic – especially when I’ve been a victim more than oh I-don’t-know, more than 6 times. I really should have learned my lesson but really, I am generally stupid and lack common sense.
#7 “The Government has also announced that they will cut Jay Z’s problems to 75 by 2015″
Where's Smithers?
Did anyone catch the Coalition Spending Review? I got depressed hearing the words ‘cuts’ and ‘billions’ repeated non-stop so I decided to turn it into a drinking game. There was no alcohol in the house so cranberry juice had to suffice. Got to turn a depressing, apocalyptic piece of news into something humorous eh?
‘Til next time,
